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SAMANTHA

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[12 Aug 2009|12:11pm]
things are not the way they used to be.


and it's all getting old.
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[03 Aug 2009|01:06pm]
The change I wish to see in the world... would definitely have to be a peaceful revolution for the common good. With all of the hard times and difficulties going on in the world, I even hate to turn on the news, it's all bad news! I dream of a day where the world is thought of as whole, as one. Where the news we see makes us be happy of who we are and we can feel so lucky to have been alive when the world turned to good. We are all brothers and sisters, the family of the Earth, and I can't wait for the people of the world to recognize that! Instead of pointing out “problems” with one another, I want the world to change and for their outlook to be solutions, or acceptance of differences.
To make this happen, changes need to begin at home, with the treatment of our family, peers, neighbors, and friends. Personally, I try to spread the words of revolutionary thinkers because some people are simply unaware of the endless possibilities we have in this world. Helping out those in need, even if it’s taking up some time you’d rather spend doing something else. Always, always, always, doing favors for others, and when they say “thank you” remind them to spread the help. If everyone is made aware, many good changes could be the result of a chain reaction of helpful, motivated, selfless people.
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in the home stretch [30 Mar 2009|12:23am]
I am so close to being done with the semester
that I can't stop now
but there's so much work to be done.

In 8th grade track, Mr. V was giving me advice before I ran the 400 meter relay. He told me that by the time I got to the home stretch it was gonna feel like a gorilla jumped on my back but no matter what I had to keep running as hard as I could because it would be worth it.

That's how I feel with school right now.
The gorilla has climbed aboard,
but I just gotta keep going strong.


I know what I need to do, but procrastination needs to let me do it.
I hate you, stumbleupon.com. (but I loooovee you)

Seriously, if you don't know what stumble is, you need to google it and get it.

Life is well. Stace and I have a lot of fun when we can - but school takes up a lot of time. His show is coming up.... We're excited. It will be funnyyy, but awesome because I know he will win.

Easter weekend in bay city - what's going on? I say we do a city wide easter egg/scavenger hunt. It would be fun.
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all things go [10 Mar 2009|04:38pm]
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 4:06 PM
This much I know.
No two lives are exactly alike. With this said, I can't expect anyone to understand mine, that would be quite selfish. However, is it too much to ask you to take the time to hear me out, and explain to you why I do the things I do? Hardly. I would lend my ear to any friend at anytime in need, hands down. My phone is always on, although I miss calls from time to time, I try my hardest to get back with those trying to contact me.
Regarding the mishap that occured in Bay City over the last week, it is out of my hands now. What is done is done. I can not change the fact that I left, however, I can explain to you the reasons and my feelings towards the actions that I took. A good friend once told me that he had to "do what he had to do, to get what he wanted out of life.... Even if sometimes it meant stepping on peoples backs to climb to the top". I would not argue that point, as that is how many reach success. However, I don't see my actions as stepping on others, maybe side-stepping around them in order to get what I wanted - Peace of mind, and a point proven.
I realize that my leaving Bay City was a decision that was very brash. I didn't take into account the feelings of others when I did it; all I knew was that for me, it was the only solution. Honestly, I seen it as selfless, I wasn't getting what I wanted, and by not doing what I wanted to do also left others unhurt. I did not get to see all of the people I wanted to and I did not get to say goodbye to those I did see, all of which were for too short of a time.
I feel that I can't handle being pulled in a million different directions. Instead of making some people being mad about who I saw or what I did with my time in Bay City, I simply left and saw no one. The last thing on my mind was that people would be mad or hurt by this. I didn't even think of that. I figured it was the perfect solution. This was a decision that was personal, and included very little people besides myself and included none of my friends. Family issues were the fuel in the car that drove me away.
This is mostly for one person in particular, but if I hurt your feelings or you're salty about my leaving so abruptly - here's my explaination.
If you have any other comments or concerns regarding this issue, as previously mentioned, my phone is always on.
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NANANANA [24 Feb 2009|12:41pm]
attitude is everything.

Charles Swindoll:
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes.



I'm going to Bay City Friday for the week.
that's all.
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[12 Jan 2009|07:45pm]
@ GVSU. Finally.

in theatre.
learning things i've learned before.

no one uses lj anymore.

come visit me someone. anyone.
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[15 Dec 2008|08:02pm]
In 48 hours, I will no longer be a resident of Big Rapids.
Two more exams. I am sick of studying and I'd really enjoy a glass(or maybe a bottle) of wine right now.


and some fresh green herbs to accompany.


I must go make some tea.
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Reality Check [24 Nov 2008|09:01pm]
I don't use Livejournal very often, as you can see.
A couple times a year really, but I think I might start doing it more.
Anyways, Looking back, I realize how much I change, and that is why I think I'd like to write more.
I change in ways that I don't even notice until I read and recognize what I sound like, and how I view it.

Anyways, I am stooooooked to go to Bay City for break... I haven't been there for more than a couple of days since August, so 5 days home will be fun.
See all the friends, all the fam and all the non cafeteria, not made in bulk, food.
:D


P&L
Sami
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[23 Jul 2008|10:11am]
I can't stop trying to re-connect with God.
I used to have a tight bond.



and now I have too many questions.
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Theives [03 Jul 2008|03:52pm]
They're everywhere.
They steal your garden gnomes
They steal your cash mon-ay flow flow
.... Some steal your heart.




I am currently like 80% happy with my life right now.
That number has skyrocketed since former months,
and I could not be more thankful for everyone in my life that continues to heighten that percentage by day.





Ferris. Living in South Bond Hall next.....month! NEXT MONTH! HOLY SHIT IM MOVING NEXT MONTH!!!
Lets plan a going away camping trip?









loveorsomethingignitesinmyveinsandiprayitneverfades. <3
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[05 May 2008|02:15pm]
Sometimes I wonder why I feel like I am on this line that is unchanged. Like I'm stagnant here not going anywhere, doing the same thing EVERY DAY. I need a changee, my children.

My back hurts, I'm constantly stressed about something, I haven't had a "summer vacation" in over two years, aside from losing the homework.
Complain, complain again.

Rinse, repeat.


I convinced my grandma that a beer bong was for a science project yesterday, even though it was from the party I had the night before, smelled terribly of beer, (actually my entire kitchen smelled like a bar in the hood when they came home). I couldn't believe she believed me, but it worked out nicely anyhow.

Nothing got broke, everything was fine apart from the like... idk 32oz. of candle wax I have to get out of my living room carpet. (this will be fun)

If you're reading this, and you try on your clothes before you buy them, here's a little message on behalf of all clothing sales associates: TAKE YOUR SHIT OUT OF THE FITTING ROOM WHEN YOU'RE DONE. You don't have to put it away or anything, just take it out and put it on the rack that is there for that purpose. Yesterday I was like two minutes from leaving work and I checked the fitting rooms and there were 4 pairs of pants and like 10 shirts in there. All inside out in a huge, messy pile. How you ask? I don't know, because there's a 5 item limit, but it still sucked. So, Mr. XXL, clean up after yourself, jerk.


I am writing all of this mainly because I'm bored out of my DAMN mind.






totz/
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[30 Apr 2008|12:56pm]
I don't know what it is about me but I am completely, 100%, the most accident-prone person on the face of the planet.
I never used to be, and I don't get it.

And although I am incapable of operating a motor vehicle safely, I am really good at a lot of other stuff, so please don't judge me based on one thing.


and you know what, fuck that, I can drive fine... I just "run into" (if you will) situations that are ridiculous, like getting way lost in hood nigga saginaw yesterday. no fucking joke.
I'm sorry to the guy who side-swiped me, (my fault) and a thanks goes out to the cop who didn't write me an accident ticket, just an improper turn ticket. So now I MORE THAN LIKELY have to go see Susan Mynsberg at the sec of state again so she can chop up my current 3-week old restricted license, and suspend my shit for another few months until I can "recognize my driving style and work to improve it"

yeahh, fuck my life.

on top of that I have laryngitis.(sp?)
SHOOT ME ALREADY???
oh, that also happened yesterday. I went to saginaw, got pregnant, shot, and in a car accident. In a matter of five hours.

I'm alive and kicking today, and theres definately no bun in my oven, so if you have questions on the aforementioned statement, inquire within.


TOTZ.
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the sun will set for you [21 Apr 2008|12:01pm]
SIX MONTHS; I am forever changed.
I could not miss you more. <3love





ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

Celebrated all day yesterday, and it was fantastic.
Played kickball with everyone in a random field by my house.
Made homemade ice cream.
Played Imaginiff.
Tiled a floor (wasn't fantastic)
Worked (That wasn't fantastic either.)



Nineties at noon are killin' it right now.
Work is not.
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she complains the room's too cold. [31 Mar 2008|01:03pm]
I have a new outlook on things.
I am so excited for so many things.
I am trying very hard to be happy.
and my hard work IS paying off.



If you look around you
I think its quite possible
to find beauty in things
however unusually or terribly
they may be disguised.
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[13 Mar 2008|10:13am]
I would just like to let the world know that I am doing much better as of lately and although there is a part of me that is gone forever, I have accepted it and I realize that it is life. You live, you love, you lose, you learn.

CONGRATULATIONS TO JESSICA, WHO IS NOW A GOD MOTHER TO AN ADORABLE LITTLE BABY BOY NAMED GAVIN <33333

hmmmmmmm time to go see my shrink.
tootlez<3
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no more hate, its 2008 - phil hartt [02 Jan 2008|09:50am]
I am numb.
Or something.
I am tired.
I have no feeling.
I am not happy.
I am not me.
I am not me.
I am not me.

I am missing.
I am lost.
I cannot find myself,
within myself.
If I could figure out where I went
and how I would go about getting
myself back,
Things would settle.
I am missing.
I am lost.
I am missing.

I am entirely exhaused with hate. I can't stop hating everything. I wake up in the morning hating the morning and waking up and the sound my alarm clock blares and the fact that I have nothing to wear.
It never used to be like this.

I miss laughing all of the time.
I miss being happy.
I miss being the girl that everyone knew as always being happy, despite letdowns.
I miss myself.
and I hope I can find me soon.
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[30 Jul 2007|11:42am]
yep.
i don't want to deal with anything right now.
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[09 Apr 2007|10:44am]
Florida was amazing!
I tanned
I parasailed
I drank
I was with my best friends!
I had the time of my life!
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[12 Mar 2007|09:31am]
last night I honestly thought I was having a heart attack.
and I was very very very scared.
I am okay, going to see the doctor today.
I dont know what was wrong
but it wasnt good.


I'm bored. :]
and I just made a concious decision to skip school today.
that is all.
good day.
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[20 Feb 2007|04:14pm]
Happy Birthday, Brian!<3
I miss you tall boy.




things have been going pretty well.
I miss Emil more than the world.
:[
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